Control Issues

“I have no idea what to do.”  I told myself this looking in the bathroom mirror at the public library.  I spend much of my time there these days.  The wifi is free, and they let you hangout all day which is a good deal.  This is where I go to do my “work.”  What my “work” consists of any given day is a mystery.  I have a little bit of client work I do.  I have a zombie startup I have been working on, I call it a zombie, because it might be dead at this point, I don’t really know.  My career is not going all that well, I need a job, and I have no idea how to get one. 

I lack a clear path forward towards any job.  My resume and work experience are lacking, I am working to remedy that, but that is still the fact.  My health is compromised so that limits options a lot.  These realities purge a lot of the simple solutions.  It looks and feels like there are no reasonable options in front of me.  I have no idea what to do.

When I have no idea what to do, I feel like I have no control.   As a Christian though, should I have ever thought I was in control anyways?   God is in control, the Bible says that in countless places.  Trying to be in control, when God is, well that seems like a path to stress and everything not good.  I can work, I can try hard, but the fact is I am never the boss and in control.  Trying to wrassle control from God is like trying to wrassle a Grizzly bear, it’s just not going to go well.